-

It has been almost 6 months since I last saw you in person.

There's so much I want to talk to you about.

You look... breathtakingly beautiful. Just like in the occasional dreams that I still have of you.

I couldn't stop looking at you during lunchtime, seeing you laugh, smiling away.

It's comforting to know you're happy. You look oh so adorable when you're happy.

It's just God's way of surprising me today. By showing me that I can and should be trusting Him to take care of your needs.



I'm glad I said hi. Just so I could hear your voice and look into those big black eyes. It's alright, I guess it was best that you walked away.

I'm glad I didn't say I missed you. Because I probably won't be able to stop the emotions that would have came with it.



You have the most beautiful smile in the world.



And I'll go around the world spreading the message of love, in the hope that no one else will ever have to go through what you have again. Every encouragement of love I write on someone's arms, I'll imagine I was writing on yours.


I'm still right here for you, should you ever need me.



Take care.


Yours,

The Gazing Game

Sometimes, I enjoy the occasional (but unintentional, really!) gazing into a girl's eyes. No, these ladies are usually on another table or somewhere else slightly further away, and we'll just happen to catch one another staring into the other party's eyes.

I'm sure you must get some of that too.


Some girls, especially the more shy ones, will tend to look somewhere else, before secretly looking back at the corner of her eye, only to find that I'm still looking back. Then she'll pretend that I didn't see her secret glance by continuing to focus on that somewhere else.

My habit is to, by her 2nd glance back at me, avert my gaze to the other members on the table and smile, as if to myself, when it's intentionally done for her. The usual effect is that she'll get really smiley, as if she can't stop herself from smiling, and those with the fairer skin make it even obvious by blushing. Things get a little messy for her if her friends notice the smile and the blush, and turn back to see who it was, with the teasing and gossip mongering ensuring.


Some girls, however, are a lot more bold, and will tend to gaze for a long time, as if spellbound or something. Anything more than 3 seconds, and my mind automatically goes into another change of strategy. I'll avert my gaze, pretend to look embarrass, turn back to "glance" a few more times. If she's still looking back frequently, I'll intentionally spill a bit of my drink, or "wake up" from the "spell" and back to the original conversation, or force a blush (which is easier if she's really pretty). This usually prompts a reaction in her to touch her face, cross her legs, run her fingers through her hair, or play with a few strands etc.


No, I don't wink at them, give some hand gesture, start tossing my hair confidently, or go up to collect their numbers. That's the Player's job.

The Casanova simply makes the lady looking at him feel beautiful, attractive. Given that he takes no overt action, and assuming none of these women come up to him and purposefully tempts him, he should make a pretty loyal lover I suppose, at least on the outside.


But sometimes, a Casanova has to ask himself: How ethical is that? Is it evil to intentionally make a lady feel beautiful when you might not actually believe in it yourself? Hmmm... but, isn't the impression that she's beautiful something that she came up with herself, without you explicitly saying anything? Can I get away by assuming that she "misread" my signals? Then again, if it's not ethical, does it do any harm to make a woman feel beautiful when the whole world is telling women that they aren't, and that they have to reach for certain standards by buying certain products and acting in certain ways?



I don't have the answer to that question really. I just do what makes me happy, and that is to make people feel better about themselves, unless it requires me to tell a blatant lie.






What's stranger is that, given such an ability, a Casanova can still succumb to inner thoughts that he is not desirable to women.






Truth is always strange, stranger than fiction. -Lord Byron

We ought to see far enough into a hypocrite to see even his sincerity. -Gilbert K. Chesterton

Notte Sento

Sometimes, we have to continually remind ourselves that love is not dependent on any of the love languages, and yet, is incomplete should one be taken away.

Valentino knows he is equipped with the gifts of language and touch, but must be constantly humbled by the knowledge that love can still blossom without them.








Abby: You’re in love with me? Why?
Mike: Beats the hell out of me.
-The Ugly Truth (2009)

To reason about love is to lose reason. -Boufflers

TWLOHA - A Beautiful Vision

MISSION STATEMENT:

To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

VISION:

The vision is that we actually believe these things…

You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.

We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.

We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real.

You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change.

Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone.

The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.

The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles.

The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate around the world.

The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.

The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.

The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.

The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.

The vision is hope, and hope is real.

You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.

To live is to fight for a cause. To fight for a cause is to put the cause before oneself. To put a cause before oneself is to love your neighbor as yourself. -Valentino Casanova

I would rather fail in a cause that would ultimately succeed, than succeed in a cause that will ultimately fail. -Woodrow T. Wilson

The Ugly Truth - Review

I loved the movie, it was awesome! Gerard Butler's personality, Katherine Heigl's "seductive" moves, and oh yes, Eric Winter's (the surgeon la) figure is my next motivational target to reach. His is a much more achievable target than Leonidas'. Maybe one month.





But my biggest takeaway of the entire movie: You can have the most chauvinistic, obnoxious, sex-crazed mind, but yet be a total gentleman in terms of actions and still be yourself.






Oh, one more takeaway from the movie: If you want to win the lady's heart, the best place to do it is still on the salsa dance floor.





Some ladies will choose to be with the surgeon in the end I guess, even if it means never being themselves, and thus never being happy for the rest of their lives. I say let's burn the checklists, and cart in the test-tubes. -Valentino Casanova

-

If you're lost, with nowhere to go
Come home
If you're in despair, with tears streaming down your face
Come home
If you're looking for a pillar, in need of someone to love
Come home
If you're lonely, and anger like fires blaze
Come home


It doesn't matter if you aren't as beautiful as before
It doesn't matter if life has drained your passion for tomorrow
It doesn't matter if your heart can be tender no more
Come home
Please, come home

Where thou art, there is home. -Emily Dickinson

Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God. -Sons of Korah (Psalms 84:3)

Rejection and Humility

Tonight was the first time in my life I ever rejected a pretty lady.

I must have look really forlorn standing along the wall looking at all the professionals salsa-ing the night away. There were a bunch of girls standing and waiting for guys to pick them up, and there I was, the ONLY guy NOT dancing. Must have gotten lost studying the cross and twirls, trying to see where and how I could blend all the basics I had learned together.


Then one of the ladies whom I've identified earlier as one of the more advanced students came up to me and ask, "Erm... Do you want to dance?"



In a fluster, I came up with what was a half-truth, but pretty horribly delivered.

"It's okay, I'm waiting for my friends to come. Prefer to watch them dance anyway."


Truth was, I was indeed waiting for my friends to come. In the end, they didn't.

The not-so-truth part was, if I had a choice, I'll prefer to dance the night away. I was only watching because I so dearly wanted to be better. And to be wholly honest, I didn't think she'll really like dancing with an amateur like myself.



But hardly any lady will reject a guy's offer to salsa, unless it's really urgent, like she has to go to the toilet or something. Even if she's tired, she'll still be only too happy to dance. (Don't ask me why, I'm still trying to figure out. Maybe girls really DO like to be asked. Maybe that's why players are still so successful.)


What more, if a lady asks a guy to dance?


I felt so embarrassed after that I hid myself at the back room with a bottle of mineral water for at least two songs.





Then a moment of reflective truth hit me.



This is exactly how I behave in real life.



If I think I'm not good enough, I'll never even attempt to pick a girl up unless I think I'm at least as good as she is, in whatever way I feel is significant.



It's no wonder why so many cultures and civilizations have ritual dances to pair up couples. The more I dance, the more I realize how much dancing can reveal about one's personalities.




Remarkably, I've been praying very hard for God to give me humility. There's something not very humble about the way I am, not one bit obvious in my cordial relationships, but reserved for some of those whom I know intimately. Seems like God is pinpointing something that I need to correct. And I think it's a little bit more intricate than just the simple word of "pride".





Opportunity dances with those who are ready on the dance floor. -Colette Dowling

True humility pervades all relationships, not just those which the audience can see. -Valentino Casanova

Teardrops On My Guitar

Beautiful country song by the blossoming singer Taylor Swift.

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything

That I have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see

Some days, I wish I could be as flawless as you make him out to be. Other days, I thank God I ain't.



Because whatever he is or is doing, it doesn't seem to be working.





Occasionally, I mistake my guitar polishing cloth for my handkerchief. And I'll look into the mirror and wonder if it's really tears that make my eyes shine. -Valentino Casanova

Jealousy is always born with love but it does not die with it. -Francois De La Rochefoucauld

-

I can hear your heartbeat in the rustle of the wind, but I am unable to listen out for your whisper.


I can detect a whiff of your sweet perfume as it dances past, but I am unable to smell the slightest trace of your gentle fragrance.


I can taste a tinge of the bitterness that you leave behind, but I am unable to savor anything that will give me a hint of your pain.


I can feel a sensation of falling into a bottomless pit, but I am unable to hold you close to me so that you'd remember that we're still alive.


No, I don't think you're hurting. I know so. And it eats into my heart like acid, corroding faster and faster as voices try to convince me that you'll never come back to me, even at the cost of your life. Only hope prevents complete disintegration.


I don't know where you are.


Even if I did, I'll be hesitant, but only because my presence threatens to hurt you further.


But remember the little rocket in your attic. The one that releases every tear you've cried into the atmosphere, falling like heavy raindrops in an autumn evening. Fire it when you need me.


And I'll be there with a rainbow in my hand.






That the love for a woman might cause even the greatest man to stop short on his paramount crusade, sign a disadvantageous ceasefire with the enemy, and in so doing halt his dreams to change the world for just one more day, just one more day, so he can restore her smile: that very symbol of his humanity and conviction of his absolute dependence on God. -Valentino Casanova

The pleasures of love are pains that become desirable, where sweetness and torment blend, and so love is voluntary insanity, infernal paradise, and celestial hell - in short, harmony of opposite yearnings, sorrowful laughter, soft diamond. -Umberto Eco

What Should I Do To Marry A Rich Guy?

I just had to take this from Chloe's blog. With her permission, of course. I don't have a habit of plagiarizing.

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden, $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

Reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...

signed,
J.P. Morgan

Awesome. I always believed that economics couldn't explain morals, but hey, there is more to it than rational choice theory and game theory.


I don't think that girls are greedy when they go for guys who are rich. On the contrary, I think they are biologically and genetically wired that way by God. The only problem?




They're becoming less and less observant of the guys who are accumulating wealth by the zeros in Heaven.





Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. -Jesus (Matthew 6:19-21)

The Ugly Truth

AWESOME! Gerard Butler is so.... ME. If only I could find a woman like that. That'll be so much fun!



Can't wait to watch it. +)





You've gotta be two people: The librarian and the stripper. -Gerard Butler, The Ugly Truth

You've gotta be two people: The lady and the whore. -Valentino Casanova

Assurance of Salvation vs. Assurance of Eternity

Not everyone who calls themselves "Christians" will go to Heaven.

Not everyone who has one time or another accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into His life will go into Heaven.

I find it extremely disturbing that after I made those statements during the lesson during youth service, only one person raised up his hand to ask, "So how do we know if we're going to Heaven?" I immediately replied, "That's what we will be going through for the next few lessons."


And that was that. Wednesday is beginning already, and I've still to wait for one of the youths to come to me in desperation. They all had jolly well better know the answer already, or have approached an elder or leader in the church for the answer.

Maybe I can conclude that most of them have no interest in finding out whether they are really going to Heaven or not. If they are very sure, then they are clearly deluded, because at least from my observation, and like I mentioned during the youth service, it is quite clear that a significant number of them aren't going to be there.

It kinda sucks to be the one to give the painful truth. But it's even more worrying when it doesn't wake people up.



On the opposing end, when I made those statements during DG just a few hours ago, I remembered seeing one of my disciples, Samuel, get increasingly puzzled. It bothered him for so long, that it was two entire hours after DG that he called me to clarify the position, saying that it got him extremely worried and desperate.



Now that's what I called "Heaven-oriented".



As I was talking to Zhiqi on the bus when he called, so I owe her an explanation also. Well, here it is.


The explanation for the above two verses come from Matthew 25 and Matthew 7:21.

Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

So it seems that our salvation hinges on our obedience to God's will. But Samuel posed a counter-verse to this, one that is commonly cited:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. (Eph 2:8-9)

So the question is, where does salvation hinge on? Is it free, or can it be lost when we do not obey?

So I pondered for a while, and then my very first meeting at Auntie Connie's cell group made everything clear.

There are two assurances that a Christian must be aware of. The assurance of salvation and the assurance of eternity.

The assurance of salvation, as explained in Ephesians, is free. Any other doctrine that tells you otherwise is a heretic interpretation, for it's clearly stated. I don't think I need to expound on this, the Bible has it written out clearly that Jesus' death on the cross is the paid penalty of our sins, available to whosoever should believe and acknowledge that He is indeed the Savior of the world (2 Cor 5:14).

But the assurance of salvation is wrongly interpreted as the assurance of eternity. Being assured of salvation does not guarantee you a place in Heaven. Yes I'm sorry if it hurts, but then the Bible does not justify bad behavior, endless sinning and corrupt practices after this acknowledgment has been made. You are NOT guaranteed a place in Heaven if sin continues to play a big part in your life.

Let me draw you an analogy that might be useful for understanding. Heaven, is like a beautiful garden that you know exist, but you cannot get inside because the hedge is too tall. We can try to climb the hedge, symbolized by our piety, philanthropy and good works, but we'll never get over because of sin. The assurance of salvation is simply that Jesus came to Earth, died and paid for our sins, and thus He became the "gate" (John 10:9) into the garden. The assurance of salvation as written by Paul in Ephesians merely states that there was nothing that we did to deserve God sending His Son down to die for us, so that no one can boast of "earning" this salvation.

Now comes the big BUT. There's a gate now, correct? In other words, there's entry into the garden. BUT does it mean we're inside the garden? We forget that our original state is OUTSIDE the garden, and that Jesus is the only way in. The assurance of salvation guarantees that the gate will never be closed or taken away. The assurance of eternity comes when we WALK THROUGH THE GATE.

Jesus invites us to walk through the gate based on the narrow path leading up to it (Matt 7:13). That narrow path is simply the Word of God = Jesus = The Way. This comes only through obedience. Acknowledging Jesus as Lord and Savior without obedience is simply saying that yes, you understand and see that a gate exists, but you make no effort to walk through it. Thus the above two statements stand true and the Bible does not contradict itself. The assurance of salvation will never be taken away. But the assurance of eternity rests on our obedience to God.

Any sin or act of disobedience is equivalent to straying off course from the path that leads towards the gate, and is recognized as an act of rebellion that has little difference from not recognizing that a gate exists. Yes, we Christians falter at times, but through confession, repentance and resuming a life of obedience, our eyes are still fixed on the goal. It can be seen as falling onto the side of the path, but also picking up where we left off and resume the walk towards the gate.

Salvation, defined as God's saving grace, cannot be lost, for God never did and never will retract His hand. But Eternity can be lost, for God's love also meant that He gave us the right to retract ours when we sin and refuse to repent, living a life of disobedience.







The history of free men is never really written by chance but by choice; their choice! -Dwight D. Eisenhower

Some people ask: if God loves us so much, why doesn't He just save everyone? But I say that God loves us so much that He wanted us to be free and was thus compelled to give us the right to choosing the option of whether we wanted to be with Him for eternity or not. Surprising as it might be, some people don't live life like they want to be with Him. No, not at all. -Valentino Casanova

Charisma Explained

As much as it is impossible to be an alien and walk around the city without being seen, it is impossible to live the true Christian life and not be noticed. Impossible. Utterly impossible.

When the world is praying to idols for fortune and luck, we have a God who guarantees us the most perfect life.

When the world is searching for knowledge, be they religious symbolic patterns or scientific paradigms, we have a book that contains the entire laws of the universe written by the Creator Himself.

When the world is trying to qualify or bring to resolution all contradictions, we have a Savior who balances them out perfectly, to the point of radicalism.

When the world glorifies fame, power, wealth and looks, we follow a system of a meekness, weakness, habitual philanthropy and character.

When the world is constantly breaking down our identities to sell us stuff, we have a never-changing identity based on a never-changing God.

When the world has her nations constantly at war with political boundaries that are constantly changing, we have a citizenship in a kingdom of unlimited resources that can never be stripped away.

When the world preaches antagonism, hate, revenge and rebellion, we are compelled by a higher joy to put to action peace, love, forgiveness and submission.


Max Weber, who studied the concept of "charisma", for all his brilliance found it impossible to define. He couldn't put a finger to what made certain people allude a certain charm, a certain confidence, a certain conviction, a certain celebrity status that is seemingly innate.

Charm: The ability to utilize symbols, meanings and their respective connections to conjure stories that mesmerize.

Confidence: The unshakable faith in one's life's pathway and eventual destination.

Conviction: The belief in the need for purposeful action, not just simply head knowledge.

Celebrity Status: The power connections that elevates and affirm one's status in society.


Who else, but we can possess all 4 components of charisma?




And some of us are wondering why the world doesn't notice us.




That's because we're behaving just like everyone else.








Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm. -Ralph Archbold

To God's elect, strangers in the world. -Peter (1 Peter 1:1)