Conversations In My Head

"Girls are ironic creatures."
"You're telling me."
"They always say they want A, and then they go for B."
"What's the problem this time?"
"I don't understand why girls say they want a certain type of guy, then bleed themselves dry running after another type."
"Throw me a bone."
"For example, some girls say they like intelligent and sensitive guys."
"Which girl doesn't?"
"How about ALL?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Because guys with high levels of intuition scare them."
"Huh?"
"I think that intuition requires a certain level of analytical ability and careful observational skills to detail."
"I'm with you on that."
"Okay, let's say you are an intelligent, sensitive guy with intuition."
"I'm not, but okay, go on."
"And you are having a conversation with a girl you like, and you can tell her too much about herself without her having to tell you, she'll freak out."
"Give me an example."
"You can tell that she enjoys alternative rock but the way she taps her feet to Muse, plays either hockey or netball by her complexion and shapely legs, loves pink because most of her pens in her pencil box are pink and wished her boobs were larger through the way her eyes are always fixed on other girls around her with larger cleavages."
"Amazing. But what if you're wrong?"
"What if I'm NOT wrong? And I rarely am, just that I don't have the opportunity to explain in detail how I observed it."
"Then bloody hell, if you're going to sound like a stalker, who won't freak out?"
"Most girls are brought up to think that we guys are too stupid to read their minds. So am I to act stupid just to attract her?"
"Maybe."
"See what I mean?"
"Well you could just keep quiet."
"And leave out a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to impress the girl a little. How's she suppose to know that I'm 'intelligent' and 'sensitive'?"
"Well, I suppose you're going to need a little more time."
"There won't be a next time if I don't even create an impression on her THIS time. That's not all."
"What else is there?"
"Some girls will say that they would like a charming guy."
"I'm certain most girls would agree with that."
"Yes. But it's the same case of wanting one thing but going after another."
"How so?"
"Girls have this impression that 'charming guys', defined as those who have a high level of wit, humor and an above-average voice quality, who is sensitive to the mood and who also is a born entertainer and crowd-pleaser, are usually playboys."
"You can't prove that."
"Think with me. Imagine you're a girl, and you meet this absolutely charming guy who takes a certain interest in you. Now, since most girls don't exactly think too highly about themselves, aren't you going to start thinking that he might be leading you on?"
"Maybe. But that's a defense mechanism what."
"And what are you going to do? Continue rejecting his advances right? And who do you end up with? To whom do your defense mechanisms not go on red alert? An average, non-charming, low-medium intelligence guy who lacks sensitivity and intuition."
"Hey, give 'average' guys like me a chance. We need girlfriends too!"
"That's not my point. I'm just making my point that girls say they want something, and go for another thing. To top it off, they'll stick with this fellow, and complain to all their girlfriends about what an insensitive, unloving, stupid oaf he is."


*Pause*


"You know something. The problem lies with you. You think too highly of yourself. If every girl seemingly makes this mistake, maybe you're really not as charming and intuitive as you think you are after all. Ever wondered if your definition of 'intuition' and 'charming' is totally wrong? For all you know, those guys whom you think don't 'deserve' to get attached: the 'slow', 'idiotic' guy who can't seem to understand what girls want, who lack humor, wit and charm, are really what girls want after all!"





I love these imaginary conversations with Myself. After all, all I have to do is just tell Myself that he's proud, foolish and ignorant, and somehow I'll always convince Myself into silence.






Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. -Solomon (Prov 26:12)