Loveless

It's complicated. Okay... not very complicated, but mostly my fault. Some of you reading this are going to be shocked I guess, if you all knew what happened. It was not supposed to happen, though I'm quite sure that half of you all saw it coming but were nice enough not to say anything.



I dunno if letting you go was the right idea, but well, so the songs say: if you love her let her go. But I don't wan to make this a decision I'll regret.

There are no tears yet. At least not from me. But I guess I must have made you weep buckets. Weep everyday for months till you had finally had the courage to tell me that you wanted to try living without me. And boy did it take long for you to come to that decision. I'm sorry if I didn't make a good partner. I guess I'm not cut out to be one, as you should know perfectly by now. Maybe I should just stick to being single, lest I break more hearts. As for you, I think it shouldn't be too difficult for someone as wonderful as you to find a better guy than me. Someone who'll really love you, take care of you, pamper you, spend on you the way you want and deserve to be treated. I'm sorry I just can't afford the time and money to treat you right. I'm sorry that despite having the gift of the gab and poetry combined, I can't say the simplest words to assure you of the love we share.

It's during times like this that I wish I could turn back the hands of the clock. It took me so long to understand what you meant when you wanted to start everything all over again. However, it's going to be difficult, if not impossible. We've both gone through so much that it's just not possible to restart without recalling both the most intimate moments with one another and the ocean-wide differences between us.

Should we restart, things will have to change dramatically. I think God has to take a much more important place in our lives, not just the before-meals prayer and the occasional chat about church activities. Yeah, and I'll have to do the rest of the changing to myself. You'll need a load of patience, for I'm terribly slow to change.

As of now, the gulf between us is widening daily as this cold war is ensuring. To you, it's a temporary separation, to me you're just on a month-long holiday. But when the end date finally arrives, will you still want me back? A throng of guys will run after you the moment they find that you're single again. They'll do anything to see a glimpse of that beautiful smile of yours. And they'll also probably kill me if they find out that you've flashed that smile at me so often just so I'll say those few words that meant so much to you.

Do as you will, if it makes you happy. I guess you must have felt so constrained with me. Enjoy your freedom like you've never before. But knowing you, you'll always need somebody to love, and to feel loved by somebody. And before you know it, you'll be attached again. But, who will it be?



I shall not reply to any comments about this post.

Facebook Addiction!

I'm suffering from a new addiction. The Facebook addiction. It's like so addictive la. Haha... But upon thinking a bit, it really influences you to place yourself in the center of your life. Sigh... It's not really about other people actually. It's about you, you, you. You want to know what others think about you. Whether you're hot enough, cool enough, popular enough, "expensive" enough, smart enough. Whether people wanted to talk to you, poke you, rate you. The approval and opinion of the millions of imaginary people around you, of whom you probably know less than 0.1% of, can matter so much.

It's amazing what the Internet can do. By bridging people all over the world together, we've become closer to people we don't know living on the other side of the globe, and neglect those closest to us. What happened to camaraderie? Family love? Brotherly cooperation and sisterly chatter? They hardly exist anymore. Where is God in our lives? Or has our social status taken over in the light of the growing individualization in this globalizing world? A simple smile that means so much now cost so much.

I feel that people nowadays need more make-up, more fashion, more body enhancers because of one big problem. We have forgotten how to smile. We have forgotten that the little curve on our lips can make us 150% better looking, that the optimism that comes with it brings to us so much health benefits, that social relations and potential friendships could all be created and improved with that little movement that requires less muscles than a straight face.

Think about it. And smile a little more. Oh, and join Facebook if you have the time. =P

Ratatouille

I just watched Ratatouille with Gina on Friday. Heard so many good reviews about it I decided that I just had to watch it to see how good it really is for myself. And you know what? It really is an exceptionally heart-warming movie of encouragement, friendship and individualism. I told Nicholas that if he should watch it, he'll be inspired to be a chef again. Life can sometimes be disappointing in the way it tells you that the aspirations you had as a small kid will probably never be fulfilled in the future, and that you should start thinking about a more stable, NORMAL career. That thought however, I would really like to get back to it soon.

However, this post is about my take-away from the movie. Of all the characters, I find that I'm inclined to picture myself, of all the vibrant characters involved, like the food critic Anton Ego. Below is his exact words as follows:

“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read.

“But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new.”

Now isn't that a beautiful speech? The moment I heard it, I was stunned. So stunned that I decided I just had to blog about it, despite this blog being quite domain for quite a while as a result of my laziness. That's how much it affected me. As a sociology major, this is quite a blow to the self-righteous ego of any student or professional in the field. Sociology is a study of society, and in most things we do, we comment and criticize the written perspectives of people. However, little is done, almost nothing is accomplished. The grand aim of the subject, in my opinion, as well as in many other famous sociologists, historians and philosophers in the past, is to find a way to change the world for the better.

I got to admit that I took Sociology for the mere interest of doing something really interesting and relevant to my own life. However, the more I study it, the more I find that there is so much potential for positive change! Like Durkheim and Hegel who were positivists in mindset, society can be worked out for the better when the numerous causes for misery and poverty are rooted out. Despite the multiple obstacles to overcome, sometimes it is worth a try. It is better than sitting back and commenting, criticizing and lamenting without having a solution in mind. With that said, I would like to proceed to how this can be done. And you know something? I have no idea where to start.

But that is not going to stop me from searching for a way to do so. Sociology is a study of society, and therefore intrinsically linked with the betterment of it. And I do have a few ideas cooking up in that horrendously inclined-to-daydream imagination of mine. Too bad Max Weber beat me to handing in a thesis at a younger age. Darn, now I can't be considered a prodigy. LoL!