Loveless

It's complicated. Okay... not very complicated, but mostly my fault. Some of you reading this are going to be shocked I guess, if you all knew what happened. It was not supposed to happen, though I'm quite sure that half of you all saw it coming but were nice enough not to say anything.



I dunno if letting you go was the right idea, but well, so the songs say: if you love her let her go. But I don't wan to make this a decision I'll regret.

There are no tears yet. At least not from me. But I guess I must have made you weep buckets. Weep everyday for months till you had finally had the courage to tell me that you wanted to try living without me. And boy did it take long for you to come to that decision. I'm sorry if I didn't make a good partner. I guess I'm not cut out to be one, as you should know perfectly by now. Maybe I should just stick to being single, lest I break more hearts. As for you, I think it shouldn't be too difficult for someone as wonderful as you to find a better guy than me. Someone who'll really love you, take care of you, pamper you, spend on you the way you want and deserve to be treated. I'm sorry I just can't afford the time and money to treat you right. I'm sorry that despite having the gift of the gab and poetry combined, I can't say the simplest words to assure you of the love we share.

It's during times like this that I wish I could turn back the hands of the clock. It took me so long to understand what you meant when you wanted to start everything all over again. However, it's going to be difficult, if not impossible. We've both gone through so much that it's just not possible to restart without recalling both the most intimate moments with one another and the ocean-wide differences between us.

Should we restart, things will have to change dramatically. I think God has to take a much more important place in our lives, not just the before-meals prayer and the occasional chat about church activities. Yeah, and I'll have to do the rest of the changing to myself. You'll need a load of patience, for I'm terribly slow to change.

As of now, the gulf between us is widening daily as this cold war is ensuring. To you, it's a temporary separation, to me you're just on a month-long holiday. But when the end date finally arrives, will you still want me back? A throng of guys will run after you the moment they find that you're single again. They'll do anything to see a glimpse of that beautiful smile of yours. And they'll also probably kill me if they find out that you've flashed that smile at me so often just so I'll say those few words that meant so much to you.

Do as you will, if it makes you happy. I guess you must have felt so constrained with me. Enjoy your freedom like you've never before. But knowing you, you'll always need somebody to love, and to feel loved by somebody. And before you know it, you'll be attached again. But, who will it be?



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