Suddenly, so suddenly, some of the things, vices all, that I used to enjoy in the past, I don't now. It's funny. I realize first-hand now, that when you trust God to give you the best, the little evil things that you use to rely on for self-identification and gratification in the past just simply fade into the background. It's so beautiful, so marvelous. And they're not coming back. I just know it.
Last night, Ilango told me that he is kind of pessimistic that any evangelical program that the church or the youth group undertakes is not going to work. The target audience for these how-to seminars don't have the sense of urgency or a heart for the lost. Well, it's is nice to see that Ilango has really matured during this period while seeking God for direction for further studies. I just pray that the other youths will also learn to put God first in their lives, and oh, the potential of transformation! The dreams that can come true! However, this sense of urgency and heart for the lost is not something that the leaders can teach or transmit. As leaders, we must pray for these to grow and swell in their hearts, and this, only God can do. We will not give up on the people, we will continue to provide avenues for them to evangelize and give the world their testimony. We will leave the rest to our Almighty God to handle. His will be done.
I've been inspired by Michelle's lesson on fasting, and thus I've also started a time of fasting and prayer for two things: healing and guidance. Healing not for myself, but for someone close to me. Guidance for the both of us and the relationship that is to come or not. And I'm beginning to feel the effects of fasting. So much temptation and fear, so much distractions and worries. And she is not taking it well too. The illness is striking back like never before, and she is suffering I know. But we will stand strong and claim the Bible's promise that He will not put us under more temptation and stress than we can bear, and if ever this happens, He will provide a way out. The fasting is only ten days, and today is day two. But I'm beginning to waver, and the strength I need to pray, I must rely on Him to provide. I'm hoping that He will also make the illness more sufferable for her, but eventually He will take it away in His mercy and grace. As for the answer and permission for a relationship, we haven't actually heard anything, but we're beginning to see so many commonalities and "perfect fittings". To me, it is wonderful, unheard of, and really unbelievable. I actually thought that girls like these don't exist in this world. And now God just puts one right in front of me. I'm like woah. But no hurry, we want to hear God's voice in this, and we believe that He will make His answer clear and recognizable. In the meantime, we will continue to pray together and cultivate a lifestyle of total dependence and wholeheartedness in loving Him.
Heavely Father, give us strength. Pray for me during this fasting period, and for her too. When it is all over, I'm sure she will be more than willing to share about the miraculous healing that will take place. =) Amen.
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