Thiam Kwee showed us a video sermon by John Bevere entitled "The Bait of Satan". It was only part I of a long series, and to be honest I wasn't interested, feeling a little feverish from the flu bug that has been circulating around. However, I must say I enjoyed the video, and two parts of it stood out to me. No, you don't have to watch it to understand what I'm writing here.
We know that the people closest to us hurt us the deepest. It's the people whom we open our hearts to, let down our defenses, allow them to see through us, that we are most vulnerable to. Sometimes, these people are not even chosen by us, like our family members. But they watch us grow up, know us inside out, know where it hurts most. The Psalmists knew that well, as shown in Psalms 55:13-15 (KJV).
For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.
Thinking back, this is the risk of love. We loved God together, prayed together, walked together with conversations about our future and how we can make space for God to work. We suffered together, hurt together, cried together, laughed together. I saw you as my equal, I took you as my guide even as I was yours, and we learnt about God, about love, and about life together. In many ways, within such a short span of time I let you into the deepest, most intimate part of my life: My relationship with God. I don't know how you delved into it, I don't know what persuaded me to trust you with it, and most of all I don't know how you became a part of it. I only know you did. But if I were to do it all again, I would. Just for the pure pleasure of knowing that someone once understood and appreciated it, and maybe even loved me for it.
I did shed a few tears during the video actually. For a really insignificant part. A part that most people didn't think made an impact on them. It was when John Bevere said this, "Remember the time when you received Jesus into your life? I never felt so much love before! I was falling in love with everybody around me! I just wanted to love like I never loved before! It was like I had enough love to give the whole world. Nobody could offend me at that point of time, I felt like I could forgive anyone for anything."
Then I suddenly recalled the time when I gave my life to Christ. I was only 14, at a mass rally called "Earth, Wind, Fire", talking about something about Elijah and God speaking to him. No, the sermon didn't impact me. No, the worship wasn't that memorable. I only remembered a lady on a wheelchair coming up to me and asking if I would like to receive Christ into my life. I looked a little embarrassed and turned to my dad, who smiled encouragingly. Okay, to be honest I was skeptical. I didn't think that anything was going to happen. I mean, my Bible knowledge was better than quite a good number of people in the church, I was serving in various ministries, and my parents were (and still are, especially my dad) highly regarded for their spirituality. What could come out of a boy born and bred in a strict Christian family get out of a simple prayer to receive the Holy Spirit?
Boy was I wrong. I know what John Bevere felt like. Exactly. I had so much love just overflowing in me, and it didn't seem to stop. Kok Poh made a statement during the meeting which went like this, "I admire anyone who can not sin for a period of time. We all know how hard it is, I mean, how many of us can say we've not sin for a day before?" I looked at him and smiled secretly. From the moment I received Christ, I didn't sin for a week. There were urges, but nothing commited. I felt as light as air, I could fly. When they say that Jesus takes away your burdens, I think it means physical ones too. I genuinely felt lighter. Happier, wanting to please my parents and friends in ways that they didn't believe at first, but soon got use to. And the joy never left me, even in tumultuous events of my life. Happiness did come and go, yes. But joy never did leave once.
I don't mean to question Kok Poh or anyone about whether they genuinely received Christ into their life or not. But I know that Jesus changed my life. And the love that poured out from that day has never stopped flowing, and I pray it never will.
No, not even when the people closest to me hurt me. For love conquers all, even the most stubborn of hearts.
This one is for you, Wyne. Stand strong even when those closest hit us the hardest. Something good will always come out of it, for our future remains in the hands of One who loves us. +)
To love abundantly is to live abundantly; to love forever is to live forever. -Henry Drummond
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