Just for one moment in the dark, I felt loved again. By another vulnerable creature, who gave everything she had. But as quickly as she came, she was gone.
I spent the rest of the night relieving an ancient pain, one that sears not only the body but whose destruction rips opens one's soul, leaving it bare for decomposition. It did not matter that I had an entire king-sized bed to myself; on the contrary, it made the emptiness deeper. Time crawled by, and finally sunlight pierced through the hotel's curtains, dividing the blackness and separating the night.
I swore that glass promise to myself once again, never to let myself fall in love. No, not even for a brief moment.
For they will all leave, taking with them fragments of one's heart as a woman grabs her diamonds whilst fleeing an approaching tsunami.
And the waves will not cleanse the pain, but instead leave behind a trail of devastation beyond one's God-given capacity to contain.
I have locked up my heart in a Swiss bank account and burnt the logs. What remains to be done is to hum a melancholic ballad tune and fling the keys into the silence from the peak of the ice-crowned, snow-bleeding Matterhorn.
1 comment:
Men are not meant to be lonely. God created Adam with Eve in mind despite knowing that she would cause both of them to fall. God created her to be the bone of his bones, flesh of his flesh. They are meant to be one body in Christ. It's not about finding the perfect person, but knowing that the other part of your heart is beautifully imperfect. It is God who makes everything perfect in Him. Be patient in your waiting and God will grant you the desires of your heart in His perfect timing. I understand how it feels because I'm waiting too.
-- God's L.
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