23 Years Old

It's been a wonderful 23th birthday for me! =) Yesterday I was taken to Sushi-Tei for a treat by my dad, and in the evening at another beautiful Japanese restaurant at Icon Village with the whole family. I've also gotten really nice presents from my family members. Dad gave me a really cool LG KS-20 phone which I've been eyeing for quite a while, and Nick gave me real some real nice Bleach toys and a pair of slippers to replace my ultra-slippery ones. Here are some pictures taken with my new handphone. Heez!
I can't tell what Nick is doing...
Dad having a share of my birthday cake...
Mum, Andrew and Nick grabbing the food Mum bought from Pizza Hut for supper...
A rare opportunity to see Mum tucking into something as sinful as Pizza Hut...
My Urahara soft toy from Nick! (Richard must be jealous)
The other Urahara & Ururu keychain he bought for me too! =)

I'm happy today! Thank God for such a loving family. Thanks Mum and Dad! =)

Mugging for Exams

Ngee Ann Polytechnic is quite a nice place! Went to the library there this afternoon to study with Jowyne and Candice. But I think I'm probably the only one who really got anything done. Jowyne was busy talking to her two friends most of the time (at least when I was there, haha!) and Candice slept and 4am the night before so she was busy trying hard to keep away most of the time. Had a late lunch at a nice canteen, but boy, is the food there expensive. Candice and I both agreed NUS food is a lot cheaper. Haha...

I'm kind of done with Sociology of Tourism, and I'm working on Sociology of Power at the moment. I never cease to be amazed at the wonderful insights that Sociology has given me, and everything I learn shows me all the more why God wanted to save us in the first place. It's quite a sad picture really, of life in this world. However, I want to do something to change it, to help people. Ever negative, Sociology always argues that there is no way out, and any action is contributing even more a vicious cycle in the bigger picture, or an attempt to slow down the destruction process. However, one must try. I always see myself as someone who thinks and agrees with Marx, holds a Durkheim-like hope for society, and endeavors to solve the problems from the perspective of a Weberian, independent bureaucracy. Troublesome really, because all of them conflict right from their very fundamentals.

I still have quite a bit from Sociology to complete, as well as Modern Japanese Religions, Japanese Language 4 and Sociology of Deviance to settle. Must remember to really thank God for the essays that have just been returned! I got a stunning A+ for my Sociology of Tourism essay and a pretty good A- for Sociology of Deviance essay. Amazing really. God has been good to me. I still have the Sociology of Power essay and Modern Japanese essay yet to be returned to me at the moment, but I trust God that everything will turn out as He will, not as I have planned.

Okay, I've been slacking too much. Tend to go into Facebook mood once I sit in front of the computer with an internet connection. Sigh. Back to books!

Gen12ii

Preparation for Gen12ii has begun, and I've just gotten my portfolio last night! I'm in charge of Special Programs with Pearlyn! Haha... I'm happy and disappointed in a way. Happy because that's where my talent and passion lies, but disappointed because I didn't get my first choice and really stretch myself for this mission trip. But it's good also. I think the Crusade staff and seniors know about some of the problems with my "outside life" and are afraid that I'll be affected by it. Well, I can protest for all I want, but I guess God knows better also. I'm not that suitable to lead a Christian team and I know it. A secular team with secular missions, hey, I think I'll suit just fine. Which I think is kinda sad in some sense. But I'll be 100% behind Xinyi all the way! I think she'll be an excellent leader. She's probably the only one who can control Jody and Suma too. =P

One more last essay to go, a 3500 word essay on Modern Japanese Religions, where I will be analyzing the social origins of New Religions. For some reason, nothing is flowing into my head now. It somehow is the hardest essay to write so far, now that my Tourism essay is complete and my Power and Deviance essays have long been settled. I'm also kinda relieved that Japanese 4 is over, I don't think I can carry on to Japanese 5. It's way too taxing on my time and energy level, and this particular module, unlike the earlier language modules, has totally drained my passion. Japanese suddenly becomes like Chinese with all the forced memorizations and emphasis on particular forms of speaking. Walker sensei has also announced her displeasure with all our mid-term grades during lecture before, and boy, it was demoralizing. What she does not know is the number of people in this batch who has Japanese language experience before but did not declare it. And now she expects so much from these "talented batch" she forgets people like myself who literally learn from scratch. Which is kind of sad really.

This is a kinda depressing post I realize. And if you look carefully, I'm trying my best to pepper it with as much joy and enthusiasm as I can, with little success. Sigh. Lots of things have been on my mind since the giving out of the portfolios last night. A tinge of enthusiasm towards the mission trip has sort of vaporized. Maybe my enthusiasm was based on the wrong things? Ironically, I wrote down in my Gen12ii handbook that what I wanted to learn from this trip was humility and the heart of a servant, and just a few minutes before the portfolios were given out. Haha... God really humbles me in ways unimaginable. That's why I hate asking Him to humble me. My ego is way too big, and it's running on air, not on any stable substance. Bursting it kinda creates a certain depression that I gotta kick myself out of. And I honestly don't know how long I can last.

I still have to lead worship and do up the youth's lesson for Sunday. Monday I've gotta hand up the religion paper and take the Japanese oral test. Sigh. I need more strength from You Lord. Help me depend on You and not myself.