Met up with the Cat High boys tonight, and had plenty of conversations about work in the future, dreams and ambitions, destinations for grad trips and of course, women.
Remembering the peeps that once played basketball with silver-button-studded uniforms and a ton of "act-beng-not-beng" vulgarities, not to mention a hell lot of laughter, failed "patterns" and air balls, was a nice feeling.
Among them was a very old and close friend I haven't met since we got our O Level results, and the reunion was awesome. But I found that he had transformed into a Player, and it was a little... shocking. A pretty successful one, I must add. At least 40% of the conversations were dominated by him as most of us just listened spell-bound to the escapades and tips that sounded almost like a foreign language coming from someone like himself.
My disdain for Players doesn't lead me to cut them short or condemn them; rather, I enjoy listening to them. After all, it makes for very interesting conversation fodder in a group full of single guys. It's just... heartbreaking after a while.
I only remember going home feeling a little disillusioned. Sometimes I wonder all over again why we Casanovas work so hard to increase our social capital by cultivating soft skills, entertainment abilities, charm and sensitivity, when most women (as testified by my friend) judge a man by the brand of watch he wears, the type of shoes he has, the kind of salary he commands, the class of car he drives. Most of these things are factors that a woman can discover by the end of the night, or for the more observant ones, in less than 3 minutes.
Classifying women into categories based on looks and treating the entire chase as a game is always morally shocking, but some hard questioning to one's moral conscience also tells us that it's simply taking a position, albeit more extreme one. After all, we can get disgusted with women whose superficiality and "shallow thinking" seems to suddenly set the entire world sliding down towards a moral abyss, but don't we guys have a huge portion of our gender group also judging women by their cup sizes, complexion and waistlines?
As much as these attributes are impossible for most women to attain, likewise money and status are not really open to every guy in society to grab. Worse still, for the odd person like myself who has little desire for wealth, yet is constantly exposed to the seeming reality of "no money, no honey".
It's always times like this when I will say, "Lord, give me more faith!" And my anxiety relaxes, in the belief that He will surely provide something better as promised.
But knowingly, it's also an excuse to avoid considering all other women as long as I believe them to be inferior to those I have had been with.
How appalling to find that my mind can twist even spiritual concepts just for convenience.
You can't drive straight on a twisting lane. -Russian Proverb
I sympathize with materialistic women because deep in my heart lurks what I suspect to be a superficial man. -Valentino Casanova
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