Reputation and Character

If we like someone very much, and he/she has a great effect on us, we label the referent power charisma.


If the person is senior and male, we label the effect presence e.g. Steve Jobs.

If the person is young and male, we label the effect personality e.g. John F. Kennedy.

If the person is young and female, we label the effect seduction e.g. Madonna.

If the person is senior and female, we label the effect black magic e.g. a witch.


If the person us someone we don't like, and he/she has a great influence on everyone else but us (of course, duh!), we label the referent power manipulation.


These words often refer to the same thing i.e. referent power. The unexplainable hold someone has on us or the people around us. However, charisma and manipulation are worlds apart. The former gives the impression that the person in power could even be unconscious of it, and has genuinely innocent, wholesome intentions for the good of the public. The latter gives the impression that the person in power must definitely be conscious of it, and has a selfish agenda to attain certain symbolic or economic capital on the behalf of alienating labor performed by the public.


But no one can truly read intentions. In fact, can intentions even be studied? Often, really, our own intentions are haphazard, constantly changing, maybe not even focused at all. For example, should one be considered manipulative if one intentionally reaches out to help the poor and disadvantaged WITH the knowledge that there are positive side-effect such as good impressions and favorable dispositions? True, we might argue that time will tell. After all, when people continue to serve long-term without reaping any positive rewards, we can then make the claim that truly he/she has pure intentions.


But let me stretch the example further. For us Christians then, would it be manipulative if one intentionally reaches out to help the poor and disadvantaged purposefully avoiding as best possible the positive side-effects such as good impressions and favorable dispositions, WITH the knowledge that by doing so he/she will accumulate treasures in Heaven? After all, isn't treasure accumulation a "selfish" notion? And if he or she selflessly ventures to "help" others accumulate treasure by offering opportunities to serve, can't it be interpreted as a "selfish" desire to boast about his/her accomplishments or to accumulate even more treasure in heaven?


As you can see, if we were to judge by assumed intentions all the time, then we leave ourselves open to massive misinterpretations. Even Jesus couldn't escape contemporary accusations of manipulating the apparently gullible crowds EVEN AFTER dying on the cross. "Because he wanted his name to be written in history books." Huh?


However, even as we refrain from judging others by intentions, let us be firmly aware of something.



The easiest way to destroy a Christian witness is to lay waste to his/her integrity. The label of "hypocrisy" cannot be defended. Intentions are easily suspect, crowds are easily swayed by malicious gossip. Even when proven right somehow, the offenders get away scot-free, simply because that's the way gossip works. Friendships are frayed, tempers flared, grievances carved into stone. The little chance for people close to us whose salvation we have often prayed for for many years vanishes in front of our eyes. The greatest obstacle is that as Christians, we HAVE TO forgive the offenders, if not our integrity becomes suspect again. Neither do we believe in karma, nor should we be wishing for any of it to come down hard on those who maligned us.


We know that God will deliver judgment, but we also know that the compassion of the Holy Spirit will bring us to our knees as we beseech for mercy on behalf of those who have hurt us.



Our reputation is a sacrifice we must be prepared to make if we choose to walk on the winding narrow road. Yes, even through the Valley of Shadow and Death.





Our character, never.






A man's character is the reality of himself; his reputation, the opinions others have formed about him; character resides in him, reputation in other people; that is substance, this is shadow. - Henry Ward Beecher

His reputation is what men say he is. That can be damaged; but reputation is for time, character is for eternity. - John B. Gough