She Did What She Could

The entire picture just fell into place today. I slept really late last night, because I was "lecturing" or "rambling" with that special someone about what love was. As if I really knew what love was better than she did. And to think I thought I spoke with such logic the night before I couldn't possibly be THAT wrong about love. It never occurred to me till the next day, when so many things happened at once, that is seemed as if God wanted to slap the facts right in my face.


Firstly, and most importantly, my entire situation now may be a mess, but the fact is I HAD ASKED FOR IT. Weird? Maybe. Until I recalled this today. I remembered asking my Crusade disciples to pick one of the fruits of the Spirit to learn throughout this semester. Shane picked joy. Minghan picked patience. Kee Onn picked self-control. Samuel picked faithfulness. I had picked love. That's right. LOVE. And this semester is not over yet. In some ways this is my most beautiful semester. It had been a "lesson in love"(ironic that the song by Level 42 is being blasted from Nick's lappy from the room right now) right from the very first week, from the first Life Meeting. I had asked God to teach me about love, that is Himself, the greatest thing as according to the Bible. I had challenged God to bring the lessons on, into my stable, unaffected life, and do as He will. I had dared God to make it tough, to be a lesson that I would never forget. And now that I've gone through this rollercoaster ride and learned so so much from this, I have nothing else but to give all praise to Him.


Secondly, I don't usually write up what I learn from sermon in church, but this one hit so hard I just had to post it. It's entitled "She Did What She Could" by Eric Chong. It's about the woman who poured expensive perfume over Jesus. Though the word "love" was not always mentioned during the sermon, it brought a strong meaning of "what is it like to truly love someone" throughout. The details are as follows.

1. We should give what we can with what we have.
Many times we tend to brood over what we don't have and thus what we cannot offer someone whom we love. I know I did. The real question is: Have I done absolutely everything I can to love Jesus, that special someone, or anyone in my life that I claim to love for that matter, with everything God has given me? Moreover, the reaction of the receiver must be secondary. The woman knew that she could be kicked or stoned for coming this close to a man, and that Jesus had every right to push her away and demand her out of the room. But that was probably the least on her mind. All she wanted to do was to show her love, regardless whether it was rejected or not. Can I love knowing that I gave my all simply because I wanted to?

2. We should do what we can despite criticism.
All of us love compliments. I know I do. That's an obvious sign of someone whose love language is that of words of affirmation. Criticism, however, hits the other way. As much as compliments have an effect, so does criticism. In life, we might get mocked for our time and effort to love someone, much more so when there is nothing in return or when people judge that the effort could have been channelled somewhere else for better uses. It could even be logical and rational (Judas even did the math!). But love is totally irrational and illogical in that sense. The question now is: Can I continue to love after all the criticism, my hardest critics being my pride and my commonsense?

3. We should do what we can for Jesus, and not for ourselves.
When we love, sometimes nothing can come between us. Not even Jesus Himself. That's when things go wrong. Romantic love, especially that between Christians, easily takes everything and everyone out of perspective so that they are the only two people remaining. When God is not inside, He will not bless the relationship. When we are to love, we are to love not only without a reason of self-gain, but for God's glory, because Jesus deserves it. The question to me now is: Does my love reflect His glory? Even if love is a two-way communication, did I ensure on my part that God was glorified through my actions towards the people whom I love?


Lastly, I must thank Fellow Prince. Yup, the guy who posts on my tagboard on the left (I finally confirmed who he was). We had a good talk after lunch about what love was, and despite him being a much younger Christian and a person who has never actually been in a relationship, his words had so much wisdom and his questions of vital importance. His encouragement came like a breath of fresh air, and I was thoroughly revitalized. I learnt so much during our conversation, it would be impossible to list them all on this blog. Moreover, it confirmed so many things that have been going through my mind, and my struggles with God. He said this, "Victor, you have been using your own understanding to define love, and it is not going to be possible unless you ask God for understanding." Just one of the hundred lines which made an impact on me. Yup, I have not been asking God to give me wisdom and understanding to see this entire conflict from His perspective. It's one of the things that he prayed for me about before he left. Oh, and he gave me a letter that he spent the night writing. I couldn't help but shed a few tears upon reading the touching words of encouragement inside. In many ways we share similar viewpoints about love, and how we began off as hormone raging boys with low self-esteems to men who are learning to rely on God for our self-worth and trusting Him daily for everything that we have, even the Christian girl who will eventually choose to spend the rest of her life with us. Thank you my friend. I really hope that our friendship will continue to grow stronger as time goes by.


As for the rest of you reading this, there will come a time (or maybe it's already been done) when these questions are going to be so vital to how God teaches you what love truly is. I pray that it would be useful the next time you fall in love yourself. +)