The conclusion of my final exam paper was a huge relief, yet an almost crushing disappointment. No, God has been really wonderful, and I'm really thankful to how He's carried me through this period once again. It's just that I find myself too focused on the exam, unwilling to think ahead, so much so that when it's all over, I don't know what to do with my time.
I've been mulling over some issues during the exam period. Having notice some subtle changes to the way my friends have been towards me recently, and it wasn't too long before I started guessing that something terrible has happened. A ghastly reliving of history as an outcast once more, only the reasons different each time.
There's a reason why the term "hypocrite" is used on Christians. Not "evil", bad-tempered" or "selfish". Maybe "proud". But it's always "hypocrite". Sometimes, even Christians stick such labels to other Christians! But the term "hypocrite" cuts really deep, and the stigma has a hook at the end that makes it nearly impossible to take out.
Unlike "selfish", "evil" or "bad-tempered", "hypocrite" cannot be proven otherwise. Let's say someone labels you "selfish". You can always make amends (whether or not you did something to cost yourself such a stigma) by doing the exact opposite. In this case, you could show your generosity by buying everyone dinner or sharing your notes or something to that effect. But there's nothing really opposite to "hypocrite". If you make an effort to speak the truth or be "real", people will still think that you are putting on a mask, that you're fake, that you are still extremely capable of doing something malicious behind their back. Worse still, if you're someone who's by nature nice and friendly, the term "hypocrite" only amplifies itself because people think that you're really good at faking it.
That's why Christians can't really take this label off easily. Often it takes time, and most Christians are persuaded by either themselves or their friends to step out of the scene. It can be a painful decision, especially when there's a certain affective bond towards some of the members within. In addition, there isn't even a need to look for evidence. If the news goes around that you're a hypocrite, even those you might consider close to yourself are likely to assume the worst until proven wrong.
That's why for us Christians, it can be the most destructive label in regards to our reputation. No matter how hard you work to build up your reputation as someone who is a worthy friend and confidant, a simple twist of events can bring every single effort crashing down. Worse, should our identity be built on those relationships, it can stir confusion and disillusionment within, and much worse still, even lead to further sinning when one tries to patch up the damage done, be it by lying or boasting. Feelings of being maligned can fuel emotions of hatred towards people you once called friends, especially when no wrong has been done on your part.
That's why it is important for us as Christians to stick to our principles, that is to love despite the chaos around us. Despite our friends criticizing us without finding out the truth. Despite the rumors tearing up bonds that you thought would withstand a little more hardship than a few well-planted seeds of gossip. Friendship is a two-way bond, even as one party lets go, you must not be afraid to hold on. Hopefully, through negotiation they might listen. If not, then you must wait for time to tell the truth and expose those whose actions may warrant a little more than their just desserts. Revenge is after all, not ours to take. We simply cry to God, and leave it in His hands. We must go on to love people as we have always loved them, even if the entire situation had caused our reputation and testimony as a Christian to undergo an irreversible stigma.
Be proud and stand with your head high, if people undeservedly label you a hypocrite Christian. Because it may have meant that after all, you really shone brightly enough a light not of your own which may have caused enough potential for some to label you a threat in one way or another.
However, if one thoroughly deserves it, one should apologize. Amends might seem impossible, but a retreat from the scenario temporarily should still be warranted. Temporarily, I emphasize.
The challenge now must be to love like never before. To find those who twisted stories consciously or unconsciously, and tell them that they are loved, much less grudges forgiven. God will restore what has been lost or damaged, even if it seems nearly impossible.
I dunno how. But I know He will some how.
If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, "I repent," forgive him. -Jesus (Luke 17:4)
Because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, I will now arise," says the Lord. "I will protect them from those who malign them." -David (Psalms 12:5)
No comments:
Post a Comment