To Write Love On Her Arms

During DG today, I noticed a badge on Shane's shirt. A small pink badge that wrote "To Write Love On Her Arms". Casually, not thinking much of it, I just asked what it stood for. And imagine my amazement when I heard it.

It was a Christian-based movement for suicidal teens. One of the things that a large majority of them did was to cut their arms with razor blades, pen knifes, anything sharp that they could get their hands on. Initially, being totally naive and living in a high-class, protected and sheltered world, I never did understand why people could do such self-mutilating acts. Doesn't it hurt? Doesn't it leaves ugly scars?

But last year, I learned. Those questions became... just silly. Of course it hurt. It was meant to. The physical pain was meant to overshadow the emotional pain, even if temporary. The external scars didn't matter, what mattered was the scars inside. The scars outside would heal. Some people even have Wolverine-like healing abilities. Deep cuts would disappear within a week, like it never happened. But what doesn't heal? The scars inside. Those scars need healing that comes from emotional support from a community, from the knowledge that they're not alone, from a divine power. Sometimes emotional detachment through loving another, experiencing the "high" of power and infatuation, or even drugs, does wonders, but only temporarily. Soon the relationship ends, the position of power crumble, infatuation hits reality and drugs wear off, and the situation is made worse than before. The cuts get deeper, more frequent, less effective. The "high" of pain begins to fade, and one begins to contemplate suicide.

And you know what? I've been praying for a vision for the band that I am planning to start up, a cause to fight for, a platform to reach out to youths through music. And suddenly, this inspiration hits home. The pieces fit! Voices that soothe and heal, music that touches the soul, words that give people hope to live on. Songs that connect, musicians dedicated to loving the unlovely, an atmosphere that reveals more to life than a failed self.

Needs a bit more prayer. Step one is forming up. Cool. Beautiful. Now to continue praying and find the right people.



One day, I hope to write that on your arms too. Everyday for the rest of our lives.



By the way, I never did send you anything since Valentine's Day. Anything material, that is. But, my feelings for you remain the same. Don't ever doubt that.