Waiting for God's "Immeasurably More"

By Cindi McMenamin (taken from a blog of a young lady suffering from anorexia)

"Lori looked away as she sat across the table from me and told me something she knew I didn't want to hear.

"It's not that bad. I was over-reacting. Besides, it's better to have a little pain with him at times, than to be alone."

Lori was choosing to stay in a dating relationship that was clearly unhealthy and unsafe. I knew God had more in store for Lori. But Lori apparently didn't believe that. And she was settling for far less than she should.

So often we, as women, settle. We think, at times, that it's better to stay with a boyfriend who mistreats us - verbally, emotionally, or physically - than to have no man in our lives at all. We reason that it's better to stay at a job that we hate, than to look and pray for something better. We would rather be around negative people who bring us down than to feel we have no friends at all. And when we settle like that, we are clearly saying to God and others that He is not capable of giving us anything better.

I remember feeling that way, too. I had just met the man of my dreams. But he lived 1,000 miles away. And my on-again, off-again boyfriend of four years lived just across town. That relationship was convenient. It was comfortable (for the most part…except when I was crying my eyes out!). And it was better to be with someone, than to be alone, I remember thinking.

It was my sister who finally burst my unbelieving bubble with the truth.

"If you settle for what you have now, you are denying God the opportunity to bless you with a man who will love you like He intends for you to be loved. Don't break God's heart that way, Cindi. Let Him bless you with His best for you."

My fear to make a change was denying God the opportunity to bless me? God used those words of my sister's to convince me to trust Him and walk out of an unhealthy dating relationship that was slowly drying up my soul. And as I did…God proved Himself true to His Word. God had something far better for me. He was just waiting for me to believe it.

In Ephesians 3:20, we are told that God is "able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us."

In another translation, that verse reads: "God can do anything you know, far more than you can ask or think or imagine in your wildest dreams…." (The Message).

Now I can imagine quite a bit. I'm sure you can, too. And yet God promises to outdo far more than we can even imagine or dream up. That's pretty spectacular, if you really think about it. That gives us a glimpse of just how big and just how perfect our God is. He is a God who is able to do immeasurably more.

Are you settling for less? Do you know that you can do better in your dating relationship or your job or your present circumstance, but you just don't have the strength to make the change? Or are you holding onto something bearable because you feat God cannot bring you anything better?

Whether it be an unhealthy relationship or a job that is sucking the life out of you, you could be settling for second place when God has first place waiting for you in the wings.

Psalm 84:11 tells us "The Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."

The God who counts the number of hairs on your head (Matthew 10:30), and records your days in a book (Psalm 139:16), and has thoughts of you too numerable to mention (Psalm 139:17-18) wants to blow your expectations out of the water by coming through in a mighty way for you. So let me ask you: How big is your God? You answer that question by what you are willing to accept and what you are unwilling to expect.

Lori ended up trusting that God had immeasurably more for her. She asked some friends to stand by her and hold her accountable, and she gained the strength to walk out of her hurtful relationship. She believed she'd be walking into a realm of loneliness, but she trusted her Lord, anyway. Today she is happy, healthy and blessed beyond reason.

Expect immeasurably more, my friend, when it comes to God's plans and purposes for your life. For you have an immeasurably big God who is waiting for you to believe it."

Top Ten Signs You've Been Single Too Long

I found this hilarious site from Askmen.com. And I decided to see how true it is.

#10. You assume you repulse all women. Yeah, I mean... don't I?
#9. You develop bad eating habits. I'm learning to eat vegetables. That's a habit my mouth knows is BAD.
#8. You gush about your feelings to women. Is Mum included?
#7. Your dating standards plummet. If I were dating, I would think so.
#6. You get a cat. YESH! Finally, one that I can safely say I'm not suffering from.
#5. You surf mail-order bride sites "out of curiosity". Once, but for research purposes. Yeah right.
#4. You look at female friends as potential girlfriends. Erm. Opps. Tams and Zhi are not going to have lunch with me anymore.
#3. You play too many video games. I'm not doing this because I've kicked the addiction, not because I don't suffer from it.
#2. You consider your mother's dating advice. Totally. Mum, you rock. You're also the reason Nick is laughing at me while girls surround him.
#1. You google old flames. One of the hundred things I do while Facebook-ing. How can you count that?!



This looks bad. Even God is laughing.



We all end up in a single bed sooner or later. -Anonymous

Failure Beyond Doubt

Victor has failed his driving test for the 3rd time already.

He really doesn't like cars. He can steer women on the dance floor, steer canoes on rough waters, steer the most complex and deep conversations, steer a Stinger in Grand Theft Auto at 160 km/h without killing a single civilian, but he can't steer a dumb, inanimate car.


Talk about faith and trusting God, Victor even brought an I/C photograph ready to collect the little blue card.

Talk about prayer, Victor did a hell lot of that, although it seemed like a "last-minute-grab-Buddha's-feet" effort.

Talk about excitement, Victor was even wondering how he would be breaking the happy news to all the lovely people who have shown him support, including you, in a way.



Sadly, it was not to be.



Not even when his instructor arranged for the most lenient tester in the school to take him. Not even when this very nice tester was willing to forgo two negotiable immediate failures so that he can pass. God had to make him collect three immediate failures so that the result would be beyond doubt.

"You're actually a very good driver. You just lack confidence only. I really want to pass you but I can't. I'm sorry. Try harder next time."


I realize that I'm writing in the form of a third person because I still can't bring myself to face this entire episode. I suspect this is how an alter is created in multiple personality disorder.

Often, I wonder how people react to disappointments. I think about it so much, I don't know how to react when faced with one. When I got the result, all I remembered was slowly walking out of the driving center to the MRT station. It was numbing. Some part inside me wanted to smash something really badly. Another part wanted to just sit down and cry. But the level of self-control within me is so highly-developed, such avenues of catharsis are simply unavailable. I just gave a blank stare and walked.

I know that as I contain all these feelings and emotions, something is dying slowly inside. And it didn't help that I refused to converse with God - at least till the MRT station. And it was then that I realized that if I didn't, I'd have no one to talk to. And when conversation started, I just lambasted Him all the way home. I refused to attend the Campus Crusade Life Meeting, I refused to eat dinner with Dad and Nick by feigning sleep, and I personally abused myself by running another 5km when I'm exhausted and still have an important presentation the next day. It was easy. I just had to convince myself that I was fat even though just last Sunday my grandma was appalled at how skinny I've become. She gasped when I jokingly told her it was trendy.

Sometimes, I think self-abuse is contextual. When it's something like bulimia, the world gasps in horror and devises means and ways to "help" people out of it. When it's something like running way beyond one's capacity, no one really cares.


Relax, I've stopped lambasting God already. I've given up trying to come up with creative ideas on why He would make me fail my driving test so many times. I'm tired of reminding Him that He owes me an explanation, because I know sometimes it way out of my wisdom, and that He doesn't have to give me one anyway. I've stopped telling Him that I've spent all my internship money on driving lessons, and that I really wanted to return my dad the additional money he has given me for the remainder, of which He'll remind me gently that my dad's money is also His money.

You can't win any argument with God. But I'm still feeling very shitty. Very very shitty. I know I'm in the season of asking for humility before formally embarking on the evangelical band project with the church peeps, but Lord, I really don't see how it's related. There's already nothing to boast by passing at the 3rd try, why push it down to the 4th, 5th try?




You know God, sometimes I think that I'm regressing in my relationship with You. Of all the abstract things I write here, so often I don't even get the fundamentals right.





There is no loneliness greater than the loneliness of a failure. The failure is a stranger in his own house. -Eric Hoffer

Has His unfailing love vanished forever? Has His promise failed for all time? -Asaph (Psalms 77:8)

If I Could Sing You Two Songs From The 80s

In sequence.

Without music, life would be an error. The German imagines even God singing songs. -Fredrich Nietzsche

Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought. -Percy Bysshe Shelley

A Manifestation of Divine Arrangement

Such dances are, if I may say, some of the finest outcomes of a world in which God chose to use a love between man and wife as an analogy of His love for the Church. It would thus be a pity, should one never learn to dance in his/her lifetime.






Dance little lady dance! You know you've only got one chance. -Tina Charles

Two Weddings and A Confession

What a hectic weekend. Two big weddings, with plenty of dressing up to do.


Friday started with an extravagant dinner at the Sentosa Resort and Spa, hosted by my cousin and her new husband. I'm not very close to her, but enough to not raise an eyebrow upon hearing that the groom from Taiwan was much older than her and exceedingly wealthy. To be honest, I never really thought that she was pretty, but boy, the wedding photos were really BOOMZ. I will never underestimate the power of Photoshop again. Technology can really make people look... I dunno. Prettier than they ought to be. The food was awesome also. Abalone and scallops galore. Great atmosphere too, if only the sound quality of the two live singers (friends of the groom) could be better adjusted.


Next, Saturday was another busy day with Caleb and Jennifer's wedding. Emceeing with Michelle at the church service was fun, and as I predicted a long time ago, Jennifer did cry at her wedding. I told Michelle how I thoroughly enjoyed the way Caleb said his wedding vows almost poetically, and I wonder if I could add another dimension by gently stroking my bride's face during my own wedding. God knows when that will happen anyway. But no bittersweet feelings, even while witnessing a childhood crush say her lines and vow to love her new husband for the rest of her life. Frankly, there's no better catch for her than Caleb. Another sumptuous dinner at the Marina Mandarin ballroom, with more abalones and prawns, and then the end of a beautiful memory. If either of you are reading this, congratulations again, and thank you for the invitation to a great wedding. +)


Now for the breakthrough. You know how during these kinds of dinners, how aunties and uncles will ask you stuff like "So when is your turn", "Got any girlfriend or not" or some even better still, "Where's your girlfriend?", as if I'm expected to have one now. I don't see Andrew and Nicholas getting fired by such questions, maybe because of the Chinese tradition of expecting the oldest to get married before the younger ones. Frankly, I don't like such questions, because wriggling my way through requires me to either lie or be so bluntly frank it hurts. Not saying anything isn't helpful either, because some people will just make the funniest assumptions that I just broke up recently, am gay, or both. So, not one to lie without giving myself away super obviously, I just say the truth.

"Not anytime soon."
"Nope, don't have any girls who want me."
"Nope, I don't have a girlfriend."

So, being the usual curious uncles and aunties (mostly the latter), they'll continue probing further, often to the embarrassment of my parents who are nearby. So, I decided to use my answer to conduct a social experiment to see what people's reactions are, and how they are grouped.



"I'm still studying la, Auntie. Study no money wan. Poor family some more leh. No money = no girlfriend."



But I did discover something extremely unusual upon giving this answer. I took my lifelong assumption as a hypothesis: That those who are middle-class or slightly lower in class status would reply with surprise, and that those who are higher or upper-class would nod understandingly. Apparently, I found a slightly less expected dichotomy. Regardless of class status, those who are 40-ish and below all nodded understandingly, and those above all gave surprised answers, arguing that not all girls go for money. Such a remark thus deflected all attention from myself, setting the ground for extremely hostile and interesting debates between members of that table, giving me enough material to write a rough thesis.

Of course, being extremely pleased with myself for killing two birds with one stone, I proceeded to move from table to table (mostly among the relatives for the first wedding and the church friends for the second) to try out this new trick.

Then upon returning home, I suddenly heard God speak from the small voice within.



"Victor."
"Er... Is that You Lord?"
"Are you really from a poor family? Think about it."
"Yeah, I am. Technically speaking, yes."
"Look around you."



And as I proceeded to recall my memories of both weddings, I saw something else. A different definition of "family".

In the first wedding, I saw my relatives. Arguably, my relatives from both paternal and maternal side are all extremely successful people from all walks of life. I saw my immediate family as "poor" relative to all of them, which was largely true, but social capital-wise, I am wealthy beyond my dreams. If there was such a thing as total net-worth of family assets from 2 degrees of family onwards, the simple connection of my dad and mum puts our family right at the top. My dad and mum are arguably the poorest among their siblings by far (though admittedly the happiest by far too), but their siblings are immensely wealthy and famous. Which means that from another perspective, I'm not poor, and thus I could have been lying all these while.

In the second wedding, I saw my church friends. Church friends technically form a "family" from the Christian perspective, and though not all of them are richer than me, but there are some who are wealthy beyond my imagination. Informed by my parents, my church comprises of a disproportionate amount of millionaires (though by visible lifestyle it's nearly impossible to believe), which accounts for the extremely important status that it holds in the Anglican Diocese, despite having a weekly service attendance of less than 120. Moreover, wealth is not measured simply in monetary terms, but in spiritual terms: there are also some (especially in the youth) who are spiritual giants and whom I know will go on to become great servants of God, which more or less will account for their financially-impossible-to-calculate wealth in Heaven.



So is Victor really poor? From those (extremely valid) perspectives, I don't think so. So why when asked, does he go around claiming that he is?










With a little self-examination, it only boils down to two reasons:

1. It is an easily swallowed rationalization of loneliness.
2. It acts as an effective filter against girls who are interested in the only thing he personally despises.



As useful as it maybe, Victor has to understand that the holiness of God does not stand for any form of lying, and will weed out even those beliefs that he might have come to assume as the truth.



No more lying. If nothing, Victor has to learn to shut his trap. The truth, if to be told, is that Victor is way richer than any one of you can believe.










My poverty was simply a matter of my perception. The truth however, is no respecter of any man's perceptions, only God's. -Valentino Casanova

The reality of life is that your perceptions - right or wrong - influence everything else you do. When you get a proper perspective of your perceptions, you may be surprised how many other things fall into place. -Roger Birkman

The "Japanese Wife" Paradox

When I was in Tokyo for both my mission trips, I remembered seeing numerous encounters of wives and girlfriends giving up their seats on the train to their husbands or boyfriends. I could hardly contain my astonishment upon witnessing what I defined as "absolute male chauvinism", to see healthy, strong men sitting down, reading their newspapers, while their (majority) petite, frail wives carried heavy bags of groceries and stood up holding the handrails.

Being in a family where my dad has always (and still is) strongly emphasizing chivalry, generosity, ethics and principles, I have learned to monitor my own actions closely and judge myself harshly for any ungentlemanly deed done consciously or unconsciously.

Therefore, to know that such sights are commonplace in a country like Japan was mind-boggling. And it added an entire dimension to the complexity of love. Casanovas abhor Players, because Players take on a bad boy mindset as opposed to their preferred model of mystic charm. They also take comfort in the belief that although Players may be hugely effective at the start, they usually lose the girl in the long run.

Strangely enough, these evidences have served to rock my foundation of understanding, at least in terms of romantic love. I have been giving this immense thought, and I have come to finally admit that this is the truth.

Sacrifice, ironically, serves to tie down those who give, to those who take.

Japanese wives, in giving up so much to their husbands (who are notoriously famous for having affairs in double digit percentages of the population), only find themselves loving and serving their husbands more and more. There is nothing conservative or traditional about this, this behavioral trait can be traced all over the world.

One of the Casanova's foundational principles is to give more than the girl can ever return, and thus fix in her a vulnerability which ties her to him. That doesn't require much explanation. But ironically, that doesn't work. Most of the Casanovas whom I know who are in long-term relationships are those who strangely become slops and laggards, even abusers. They have their girlfriends serving them, doing nice things for them, crying over them, lamenting about how they used to be such wonderful guys, and secretly hoping for a glimpse of the "Prince Charming" effect they once used to know so well. In reality, these guys are actually playing another manipulation trick (albeit extreme), which is "regulating" the flow of "rewards". They reveal their loving side, about 1% of the time, and practically perform it so "lovingly" that it is permanently seared into the minds of their lovers for at least the next few weeks or so, and who thus work extremely hard so as to feel loved just for those short moments.

To me I find it terribly hard to understand. But my own history is no testimony to the success of the virtuous opposite. The ladies in the few relationships I have been in have always said the same thing, although in variations such as "You love me more than anyone I know" and "I've never felt more loved by anyone before".

Understandably, I have been chucked away despite them being able to make such confessions just a few days before the big breaks. Yes, I said it. "Understandably". I don't think such a word exist in the dictionary, but I can't think of a better word, because I get the picture now. Not fully, but as long as I apply the "Japanese Wife" model.

Why? Because I never gave any of them a chance to sacrifice something for me. Not that I didn't accept their gifts of love, but BECAUSE I accepted their gifts of love. And when I accepted them, I always paid back in full or double, triple the amount. I never made any of them feel that they had to sacrificed something for me. But the side effect was this: In so doing, I didn't allow them to be truly vulnerable.

Maybe next time, I'll have to purposely tell my future girlfriend that her gift was crap, even if I knew the amount of effort she put into it. Maybe I'll have to just take take take and consciously tell myself not to bother about thanking her for anything she has done. Maybe I'll have to let her know that if she wants to keep a guy like me, she'll have to put a lot more hard work into the relationship, to the point it becomes ritualized and ingrained in her nature.

Even as I write, I feel myself sinking into the mold of people I despise the most, the Players themselves. Why does one have to be make a woman feel inadequate in order make her stay? Doesn't every girl want to be loved, appreciated, treated like a princess? Or is it just lip service? Is it a strange lust to be abused, bullied into obedient submission, to feel that she has put so much effort into the relationship that she's practically chained herself to it?



Can't the man who consciously makes an effort to make a woman feel loved, feel beautiful, feel adequate, feel precious, win in the end?



Something tells me that until I TOTALLY understand this paradox, I'll never be ready for a serious relationship.






What did he do, that you would painstakingly select the most beautiful of seashells to spell his name out on the sand? What did he do, that you would gladly be a maidservant if you had to, just to be close to him? What did he do, that you would give up your entire family, and even some of your closest friends, just to be able to tell yourself that you love him? Lord, tell me! What must a man do, to be loved oh so much by a woman? -Valentino Casanova

-

Will someone please take that arrow out of my heart. Please.






Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too. -Anonymous

To Ph.D or not to Ph.D

Some people always want to be blessed by God. They'll do all sorts of things like tithe a bit more, take up a few more ministries in church, stop swearing so often etc. Well, this post is not about a debate about how useful doing all this things are. I always tell people that you can fool some of the other gods, but not God.

From a different perspective, sometimes we can have blessings thrown onto our lap and not know whether to accept them! Yes, I bet you think I'm weird now. After all, who doesn't want blessings?

I, for one, don't really ask for personal blessings. But let me tell you my dilemma.


I have an extremely nice supervisor. His name is Professor Michael Hill and he's REALLY nice. He looks like Santa Claus, with the red nose included, and always chuckles. (I'm beginning to think he might just be Santa Claus). We share a huge interest in the Sociology of Religion, and he always tells me about his stories. A brilliant man, he always recommends great articles highly relevant to the thesis I'm starting my research on now.

So, one meeting, I briefly mentioned that I might be interested in furthering my studies in the Sociology of Religion, with the added dimension of faith-based welfare organizations. I also mentioned that I come from a pretty middle-class family, not one of the 8.5% of Singaporeans who are millionaires, and that my parents are retiring soon, which means that I have to take over as the breadwinner of the family within the next few years. I also briefly hinted that doing Masters in NUS would be pretty boring, and that I would rather go out to work if given a choice.

The conversation more or less ended there, with him giving advice on looking out for certain universities in Australia. I didn't think much of it either, busying myself with the upcoming deadlines.

Then came an email in my NUS inbox, and behold, he had fired letters to quite a handful of universities in UK, Australia, New Zealand, asking if there was a studentship for Masters or Ph.Ds with regards to faith-based welfare organizations and the Sociology of Religion. Apparently, he's quite a renowned academic, and received positive replies in no time. Among them was this fantastic opportunity:

http://geography.exeter.ac.uk/geography/postgraduate/value_added.shtml

It's a fully funded Ph.D in Human Geography in a renowned university located in one of the most beautiful towns in UK. 9th in UK, two ranks behind LSE and ahead of other famous institutions like King's College, Edinburgh, Glasgow and Manchester, the University of Exeter is one of the most prestigious research universities for the Sociology of Religion.

3 years, and I'll be Dr. Hui, at only 28 years old too! Plus, I'll get to study a discipline and work in a field that I'm really interested in. I'll get to travel around in UK, visit my parents' friends, experience snow for the first time, study Christian theology too. Maybe I'll even get to visit the Loch Ness and see the legendary monster, roam the streets of London, visit museums and castles, ride a white horse on the meadows and pick up the British and Cockney accent like my parents once did. Awesome right?




Wrong.




Firstly, God hasn't replied me as to whether He would like me to go yet.

Secondly, a Ph.D is a huge over-qualification, especially for such a field as mine. Maybe I'll get a job as the next NKF director, because I don't really like golden taps.

Thirdly, my parents are retiring within 3 years, and Andrew's pay at Mediacorp is peanuts. Who's going to feed the family?

Fourth, I would like to get attached and married soon. I'm already a year late from getting married at my target age of 23. If I studied first, came home, found a nice girl, dated for two years and settled down, I'll be what... 31? I still want some hair in my wedding photos, thanks.

Fifth, the cost of living in UK is super high. Although my school fees will be totally covered and there's no bond, but the lodging, food, clothing, miscellaneous... That will all be horrendously heavy on my family's treasury.

Sixth, I'm going to miss all my friends and family members in Singapore. Big time. Big, big time.

Seventh, it sucks going alone. Admit it. At least when Andrew was considering Mass Communications in Australia,Thomas was there, and he had some other friends who might have been going, I think. (Tams, you want to study Masters at LSE or not?! Then again, that's only one year. Sianz. Do Ph.D leh! I'll be your Dan Humphrey until you find your Chuck Bass.)

Eighth, I am sure that I will miss Singaporean food. And my dad's taste-saturated dishes. And mum's lovely home-cooked food. And Andrew's experimental pastries. And Nick's extremely unhealthy and high-class culinary. I'm not looking forward to eating my own cooking there, as palatable and edible as it is.

Ninth, I'm REALLY going to miss Singaporean girls. I can't emphasize this enough. Yes, even if they are extremely feminist ones like Chloe Fong who keeps saying that guys are inferior. And no, I haven't been on an official date for nearly a year already. But I bet I'm still going to miss it.

Lastly, I still want to send you flowers every year. White roses, with a tinge of the freshness of April spring.




See. Sometimes blessings can be huge headaches.




I bet some of you hate me now.







What I'm looking for is a blessing not in disguise. -Kitty O'Neill Collins

The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. -Eric Hoffer

Encouragement From A Best Friend

An encouraging letter from a best friend and close confidant is worth a million pearls from the deepest oceans.

Thanks Rich, you brightened up a gloomy week of empty dialogues with God into a reminder of the awesome sweet taste of His messages that can come from brothers and sisters in Christ. There's still much to improve on my side, and I cannot, in any way, see myself as better than the others as I come to have a greater comprehension of His holiness. You too, don't give up the fight on your side. I am also very encouraged to see how Eveleen is growing daily through your words and behavior, and I have great faith in the picture of the future to come. Let the poem below show you a direction that you can work on to bring your friends in Archi to a better exposure of Christ's love.



If you've never felt the sorrow of another person's grief,
If you've never felt an inner urge to want to bring relief,
To someone who's in trouble, with a kindly word or smile,
If you've never loved your neighbor as yourself, with all your might,
If you've never shed a tear drop at a pure and holy sight,
If others have not been blessed by something you have said,
You need have no fear of dying, Brother, you're already dead.


Thanks for the letter again, it's a clear sign to me that my best friend is alive. I've indeed been blessed. +)






Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints. -Paul (Philemon 1:7)

Rescuers

“We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don’t get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won’t solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we’re called home.”

—To Write Love On Her Arms

Kisses By The Moonlight

The night heaves in anticipation
At the heartbeat of two lover's passion
As if telepathy really existed
Were foreheads pressed against one another

Eyes half-closed, vision blurred
The mind focused on lips semi-opened
With a raging desire to ravage and be ravaged
Curbed by etiquette to be delicate

Palm cupping crown and nape
Elbow cradling chin and jaw
Smelling the sweetness of breath
Wafting from trembling ruby red gates

Whisper my name, then sigh it loud
Tell me that you want me now
Tell me that it hurts so bad
To have me so near, yet having to beg

Are you cold my love?
Why art thou shivering in my arms?
Why did a tear roll down your eye,
As if translating our messages' silent cries?

No answer is required, nothing affirmed
In the darkness two souls burned
As the moonlight streams in waves
No illumination for the melding faces

No playful teasing for tonight
No appreciative peppering or sip
No exploration, none spoilt for taste
No slow, romantic lushes deep

Just an obsession to consume and hurt
A single-minded drive to crush and melt
When hard meets soft and contact spark
A drop of iron on the tongue

By the moonlight the lovers continue
Kisses hard, enough to draw blood
Passion strong, to sting desire into climax
Love like a signature, to brand and consummate

I can forget my very existence in a deep kiss of you. -Byron Caldwell Smith

It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it. -Christian Nevell Bovee