My next essay proposal has been approved by Dr. P. I will be researching on the effects of globalization on the concept of "female beauty", and to study the various social structures that have undergone homogenization or heterogenization. It's scary. I'm absolutely clueless on where and how to begin, but it's an idea that I've been toying with for a long time. But that makes it even more challenging! I can feel the adrenaline rush already. (Okay I'm a nerd. Yes. Say what you like. LOL)
And Nick will be leaving for Shanghai soon. Had a farewell dinner with some of the youths of which Yaosheng paid most of it. Thanks bro.
Somehow, despite Nick being EXCEEDINGLY irritating at times, especially when he's so determined to be my image consultant, he's probably the closest person I am to in the family, simply because we talk the most trash among ourselves. I mean, he must love me alot to be so fixated on making me look good. I'm not really obsessed about looking good; the only thing that bothers me is that I'm attracting aunties and giving gays the wrong idea. But he keeps giving me advice on which part of my body to beef up, which part to cut down, which shirt I look stupid, fat or fugly in. Somehow, after so much emphasis on the exterior, even if one doesn't really care about it at the start, it suddenly becomes important. I mean, if you didn't really care what your nose looked like, and were pretty happy with your normal looking one, life goes on. Now if you add someone in your life who's constantly ranting about how your nose is quite ugly, with alot of space for improvements, as well as how to go about doing them, suddenly you will begin to look at your nose a little longer in the bathroom. And the bad part is, Nick is someone who rarely gives positive comments, so it's hard to take his advice seriously and not feel sucky about oneself. But thanks for all the advice anyway. Sorry I flared up just now. It's just really sucky when people close to you think you're ugly. Anyway, you've been this way your whole life, and I've never reacted so strongly till recently. It's just when someone who meant the world to you told you in the face that you're not that good-looking, not as good-looking as another... even the smallest things with a bit of relation said by others, can have... catastrophic effects.
Anyway, some people around me have been extremely supportive! A few have been exceedingly funny. I'll post them here since they are people who don't read this blog anyway. Just for laughs.
During my junior DG on the week of Valentine's Day, just for fun I decided to split them into two groups, those who were attached and those who weren't, and debate on the topic "It is better to be single. Discuss." Albeit the fact that both parties learnt ALOT from one another, it became evident that being single was harder to take. I mean, you can say things like "You should never enter a relationship thinking that you'll be happier", and evidence shows that it is true, but it's hard to convince those who're single and feeling lonely. For some reason, even when I was the arbitrator and not taking sides, somehow my disciples sensed that I was feeling a little moody, and tried to encourage me. The funny part was the way they put it across, guys being guys. Samuel said, "Victor, if I were a girl, I'd be running after you. Serious." And he had a straight face that kept me in fits for one heck of a long time. Minghan then chipped in by saying that he can't believe there weren't any girls running after me, or flirting by leaning on my shoulder etc., especially in a female-dominated environment, and that in so many ways he wished he had whatever I had. Kee Onn, albeit with much reluctance, also felt I stood a much better chance than him. He suggested that I gave out too much of a "decent gentleman" aura that kinda scared the ladies away because I gave the impression that I'm someone serious about relationships. Well, I don't know how true these words are, but hey, thanks for looking up to me fellows. It's by God's grace that despite me being much less worthy than each one of you, Samuel the Encourager, Minghan the Meek, Kee Onn the Charismatic and Shane the Humble, you still gave me more respect than I ever deserved. It's heartwarming and means alot to me, really.
The other interesting person is my mum. Ever since I was young, people always said I looked like my dad. That all three of us brothers resembled my dad. However, this Chinese New Year, during visitations, everyone said that I resembled my mum, especially with contacts. While waiting for a cab to a friend's place to "bai nian", my mum looked at me for a while and said, "Victor, I think you're very handsome the way you are now." I looked at her, and replied, "Firstly, that's because people are now saying that I look like you, and you would like to think of yourself as beautiful." Then I saw Dad's eyebrow raised, and quickly added, "Well of course, that's the truth. And secondly, it's because I'm carrying all the heavy stuff now, and Andrew and Nicholas won't come along so you trying to 'por' me to make me happy." And you know what? My mum didn't laugh. She just looked at me and smiled so sweetly and hugged my arm. I bet my dad was green with envy that moment. It's a tad strange, but my mum never did approve of any of the few girls I dated. She wouldn't say it, but after the torrents of separation was over, she'll always come to me and say, "Well, I never thought she was good enough for you." Every single time. I always believe that my mum groomed me up (and still is) into her idea of an ideal man and perfect lover. That's why I attract aunties of her generation. LOL. I did tell her that I believe even I did get together with the most wonderful girl in the world, she would also think the girl wasn't good enough for me. Too obviously biased, but oh well. She's my mum, what would you expect? I just worry for my future wife. The "mother-in-law headache" might manifest if my mum decides to speak out whatever is in her mind. Nah, she won't la. +)
As I blog, I realize that ideas for my essay are pouring in. Hmmmm....
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