Sometimes, I wonder if people really believe I am a Casanova at all. Compared to the real historical figure, I am nothing similar to him; not one bit. It was a nickname given to me by my close friends in secondary school, but not for the reasons people tend to suppose. During my entire university life, it has worked wondrously both as a magnet and a filter for my numerous acquaintances. But as my final semester in school begins, it also means that the nickname has also reached the end of its lifespan, and this blog post will act as a benchmark signaling its retirement from the scene. This will also be a long post, so if you're really interested, do get yourself a cuppa.
During my Catholic High days, I was a fat, ugly student who sadly entered puberty at the age of seven. This means that I suffered acne, fantasized prematurely and became extremely self-conscious, all as early as Primary 3. In addition, there was not a single trace of hope at dating any of the girls from my sister schools, or any school for that matter. Being terribly shy and lacking any experience with (but bursting with curiosity towards) the opposite gender, I began to gorge on romance novels when all the guys around me were busy with fantasy and sci-fi (if they even read at all). Of course, you don't tell such secrets to even your best buddies for fear of being branded a wuss. My nearly 800-degree-per-eye spectacles that some of you see me wearing occasionally today should give testimony to the amount of reading I did in my growing up years, of which I soon graduated to reading self-help books like "Women Are From Venus; Men Are From Mars", "Everything You Need To Know About Fashion For Gentlemen" and "Writing The Perfect Love Letter". The entry of the World Wide Web in my life was an information overload for me, well not just the pornographic sites, but more the self-initiation into a world of pick-up artists and players. All at 14 years old.
"What a nerd", I bet you readers must be saying. Yes, I was a nerd. If I were in Japan, I'd probably be an otaku myself. Thankfully, some of the socialite charisma from my parents rubbed of me, and interacting with guys was and is still a breeze for me. Among them of course were the really good-looking guys whom all the girls had a crush on, which meant that I had a lot of experience being the wingman i.e. the "other guys" that you never really notice standing around the damn good-looking one. I was literally invited to parties because I made other people look good. Well, I didn't mind then, given that it was better than having no interaction with the female species at all. But there were also those average-looking guys whom I always felt closer to because they were usually more frank and honest about their feelings. After the basketball games matches that happened everyday when the school bell went off, we would talk about basketball, and of course, girls.
Guys do get jealous too, if you ladies thought it was a problem reserved for those on planet V. We would talk about how we could get girls to notice us, to like us. Well, given the wealth of information I had collected over more than half a decade, I began "teaching" them how to pick girls up. The strange thing was that I never even tried doing any of these stuff myself, but I explained method by method like I was an expert. Which was the birth of Fluff Sociology in my life, if I had to pinpoint one occasion. To my own surprise (and pride), my average-looking friends became pretty successful with the ladies, and before long, I was hired to write love letters, solve petty quarrels and recommend gifts for special occasions. I even got paid to write love letters, so there!
As time went by, I got silly nicknames like Doc Love, the Love Guru, Porno King (I'm not going to tell you how I got that stupid nickname), but one that stuck with me was Casanova. It had a nice ring to the name, and soon, I began to use the pseudo-name Valentino Casanova to write more than one romance novel and other short stories for writing competitions. By the time I entered into JC, I could churn romance stories and chick flicks just by sitting in front of a computer, and one by one, unfinished excerpt after unfinished excerpt began to explode as I began to explore my creative nature. But JC life was pretty cruel, and being in a gray uniform with silver buttons was enough to stifle whatever creativity I had till NS.
Just before NS, I was probably the ugliest looking person on earth. Weighing nearly 100kg, with a serious acne problem (sad right, start early end late) and unbelievably long hair with center-parting, no one would believe I was a romance novelist, much less a Casanova. I recorded the slowest 2.4km run in my JC, stuttered when excited and ate pretty much like a pig. NOT a guy any of you ladies would like to go out with.
Then came NS, where I underwent one of the biggest transformations of my life; a makeover, literally. I lost 24kg, toned up my muscles, made it to Officer Cadet School, commissioned by a hair's breadth, and my acne problem disappeared leaving my face 99% scar-less. Anybody would think that this fat, nerdy kid had a wish come through. I thought so too. During my uglier days, I would fantasize about making all the women in the world fall in love with me, IF ONLY I had a six-pack, a perfect complexion, muscle-toned body etc., all of which I attained during my post-NS days. After all, wasn't it a fact that I already had all the head knowledge, and all I needed was a model-prototype body to exercise my fantastic skills?
Wrong.
Until today, I am totally amused by how having the nick "Casanova" on your MSN literally brands one as arrogant or playboyish. But it was only at the end of year one that I realized how useful the nickname was, and that is why I have kept it in spite of the occasional concerned advice by a few of my closer pals to change it. Over the four years in NUS, this nickname has unknowingly filtered out a few guys (who have unbelievably found me threatening) and a whole bunch of women. I shan't talk about the guys; after all, the nickname wasn't meant to filter ANY guy out for that matter, but if it ever did, maybe it was a good thing. The ladies, however, make for interesting thought.
For the record, throughout my university life there has been only two ladies who ever dared to make their interest in me known, and even then, extremely subtle. Most other male juniors I talk to would admit to have at least four or five (I'm in female-saturated faculty, don't forget), not to mention those on my level. Since most single girls assume through my nickname that I'm either attached or a player, most of them never even bothered asking, automatically relegating me from their list of "Potential" to "Forbidden". You might find it a tad strange, but I'm honestly thankful. I have spent more time with church and family than any other stage of my life during these four years with minimum distraction from my commitments to God and my studies, and I have been really blessed since "seeking His kingdom and His righteousness" is so much easier when I'm single AND not having ladies running after me. (Men running after me is no distraction)
I'm a little sadden, but more bemused by the rumors about me being a playboy in school, even in Christian circles. My peeps at church would roar with laughter if they ever knew that such rumors could even exist (except Jason who still thinks I'm damn good with women).
For the record, I only chased one girl throughout my four university years.
So all in all, especially since I would hardly be in school for the next semester, I think it is a good time to retire the nickname from my MSN and Facebook, leaving it as nothing more than a mere pen name.
After all, the only similarity between Casanova and I is our lifelong obsession over the subject of love.
P.S. The real truth is, Victor simply doesn't attract women. He just writes such long blog posts because he doesn't want to admit it.
He who is obsessed by death is made guilty by it. -Elias Canetti
He who is obsessed with love is made guilty by others for it. -Valentino Casanova
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